I have been thinking a lot lately about how our phrasing can give us insight on how we really feel about a particular situation we are facing. From a place of observing our words and the feelings that come from them, it can help us navigate the situation and make a more genuine decision to move forward with what really makes us genuinely happy. I want to focus on 3 different scenarios that I have felt recently and give a real world example that is followed through with the 3 scenarios.
I need to… or I should…
When you are in a circumstance where you feel like you need to or should do something because of fear of judgement from someone else or even yourself to maintain a particular story, you may want to look at the situation more closely and find where there is a belief from a logical place in your mind that is fearing the idea of anything different from your comfort zone. Its as if logic is taking over all of your decision making not leaving room for a more deeper feeling that trumps the idea of logic.
Your job is awesome. Its taking off and there is so much opportunity for leadership, prestige and a comfortable feeling knowing that you have a solid paycheck coming in to spend that money on anything you want but you save it for something down the line. You perceive you are at a happiness level of 95% where you know there are a few things you can change in your daily life including in your job to make you feel better but it really doesn’t take precedence over the story you are living now because it is not really a big deal yet. You are making money. Things are going along and your dealing with that other 5% with an occasional weed hit. What if the reality is that you are really at a 45% but you would have never known because you have been doing things that you have felt you needed to do.
I have to… or I know I have to
This is the second feeling that Ive felt. It is a knowing that you have the push from your inner self that you need to make a change in your life but your logical mind or ego is convincing you otherwise. It’s a push and pull feeling that makes you feel like your being bounced back and forth like a ping pong ball. Its like your in a place to make a big change in your life but you are in your own little purgatory.
2 years passes by and that 95% feeling now feels like a 65% feeling (really a 0% feeling) and you know you need to make a change. Your mind is cloudy because your logical mind is saying to you, “don’t feel this way” but your heart is like, “yea feel this way.” These contradicting views of the mind and the heart are what makes the ping pong ball effect happen. The important piece of this is that deep down, you have this underlying knowing that things need to or are going to change soon.
I want to…
This is the third feeling that I have felt and its incorporating the “I have to…” feeling in a decision with the ego removed from the equation. You want to. You feel a passion you need to express. You feel lighter and you are having fun with your decision and cant wait to pursue what is next.
You quit your job and now you have all this free time. Then you decide to perhaps read that book you have always wanted to do, but you never had the time. You decide to start using the money that you said you’ve wanted to save for things you really enjoy. Opportunities arise in your life that otherwise would have not if you didn’t quit that job. The opportunities feel more effortless and of course…fun.
All of these examples are easier said than done and don’t put aside your ego in all situations. Your ego is there as a survival mechanism. If you feel yourself making crazy decisions that have no regard for your external environment, thats when you may need to welcome back your ego to teach you some things.
I am aware that these words can be easily switched and contradict each other based on your own interpretation and experience. This is where I feel language really fails because it can’t lazer target a particular emotion without defining another one as well.
Thanks for reading 🙂